Parent Zone

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist                     Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi   Growing up, we are seldom taught to express our emotions verbally. Schools and society focus on nurturing children’s cognitive, analytical, and problem-solving skills, so we are used to discussing things and opinions, and rarely express our emotions directly in words. Even when families communicate and talk to each other, we are not used to sharing our feelings.   Some parents may ask, “Isn’t it enough for me to express my care for my child through actions (such as hugging or kissing him/her)? Is it necessary for parents to verbally affirm and respond to their children’s feelings and needs?   While it is important for parents to express their love for their children through actions, it is also important for parents to respond empathetically to their children so that they can understand and accept their thoughts and feelings in a more concrete and tangible way. This not only strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds the child’s sense of security, but the child also learns how to verbally express his or her feelings and needs, which helps reduce the need for the child to express his or her inner turmoil through bad behavior.     In fact, the language of emotion is not the language we are used to. Many parents are concerned that affirming and empathizing with their children’s negative emotions may condone and exacerbate their children’s bad behavior. For example, when a child

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist  Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi In today’s society, it is indeed not easy for parents to maintain a good state of mind and body. I have met with many parents and found that the difficulty most parents face is not that they do not understand their children’s feelings and needs, or that they do not know how their behavior affects their children, but that it is difficult to maintain a trusting and optimistic attitude towards their children when they are in a situation. Often, parents become increasingly anxious as they worry that their child’s problems will continue and worsen, and repeat ineffective ways of dealing with their child’s problems.   So, how can parents maintain the best mental state to face the stress and challenges of disciplining their children? Here are some tips for parents to consider:    Be more sensitive to your own stress levels Parents are human beings, so there will be times when they are depressed or physically and emotionally exhausted. The purpose of parents being sensitive to their own mental state is to remind themselves that they need to take care of their own needs first. It is difficult for parents to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children when they are in a highly stressed state. Conversely, inappropriate responses may harm the child and damage the parent-child relationship.    Use resources effectively to relieve stress When parents feel stressed, they should

Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung “His handwriting is always out of line; it always ‘flies’ all over the place!” “He can’t even write within the boxes; he usually takes up two boxes for one character!” “He often skips lines or spaces when writing!” “It seems like he doesn’t apply enough pressure when he writes; his writing is so faint that it’s almost unreadable!” These comments reflect the experiences of many children learning to write in K2. When children write, they need to coordinate many abilities, the simplest being the strength and dexterity of their finger muscles (fine motor skills). If there is insufficient training in fine motor skills, children may struggle with writing or holding a pen effectively. So, how can parents address and train this? It’s simple: let them play with playdough, clay, and flour from a young age.   Secondly, visual-spatial awareness and eye control are also important for copying. General ball activities are excellent training options. Tracking a ball visually and then performing an action to catch (or kick) it is a natural and fun form of training. Additionally, games like “spot the difference” (finding the differences between two pictures) and maze games (first finding the way with their eyes and then connecting the dots with a pen) can also benefit eye control.   Hand-eye coordination is, of course, crucial in copying practice! Activities like tossing and catching beanbags, fishing games, pouring exercises, and cutting paper can greatly aid hand-eye

Written by : Doctor Hui Lung Kit Child Psychiatry’s primary concern is to determine whether a child’s behavior is normal or abnormal, and whether it is normal or abnormal should be judged according to the rules of Child Developmental Psychology. But in reality, do parents have to get a bunch of books on child development and look at the textbooks to observe their children? This is a time-consuming and costly process. One of the simpler ways is to ask your child’s class teacher.   Have you ever heard of children moving up a grade every year, like going from Grade 1 to Grade 2, Grade 3 to Grade 4? But have you ever heard of teachers moving up a grade? Generally speaking, many teachers spend months and years teaching students at the same grade level. More experienced teachers may even spend over ten years teaching children of the same age. As a result, they may have interacted with hundreds of students of the same age over time.   Developmental assessments for children place significant emphasis on comparing them with their peers of the same age. By using a large sample size of data and employing statistical methods, a reference definition of normal and abnormal can be established. An experienced teacher, with ample teaching experience, already encompasses a substantial sample size within her own teaching practice. Based on this, she can determine what is considered normal and abnormal. For example, let’s say in September this year, a class teacher is faced

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of Hong Kong Institute of Family Education   Last weekend, I attended a parent seminar where it was mentioned that parents should establish a close communication relationship with their children. Nowadays, young people rarely confide in their parents when facing difficulties. During the open discussion, a father asked me, “My son is in Form 3, and we rarely talk, especially about his feelings. How can I build a communication relationship with him?” I believe many parents have faced similar issues, especially as their children grow. Why is it so difficult to establish heartfelt communication with our children? When children are young, communication seems to be straightforward and without issues. However, as they grow into adolescence, parents often find communication suddenly becomes challenging. Some parents say that communication has become “one sentence against nine,” meaning when parents say one thing, children respond with nine counterarguments, making effective communication difficult. What is the problem? It lies in the topics and attitudes we adopt when communicating with our children. When we come home each day, the first question we often ask our children is, “Have you finished your homework?” We constantly remind them to take a shower, tidy up their toys, do their homework, and review their lessons. This creates a daily routine filled with tasks. When the parent-child relationship becomes task-oriented, both sides feel exhausted. Some parents feel drained by having to manage their children’s responsibilities every day, and children feel overwhelmed as well. When our

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team   During a parents’ meeting, Mrs. Wong expressed her fear of receiving calls addressed to her as “Mrs. Wong,” as they are usually from her son Didi’s class teacher. Each time, the call revolves around complaints about Didi’s unusual behavior in class—either he frequently leaves his seat or disrupts his classmates during lessons. On rare occasions when he stays in his seat, she hopes for some quiet, but within 15 minutes, he becomes active again, and his disruptive behavior resumes. The most frustrating issue for the teacher is Didi’s noticeable lack of focus compared to his peers. He cannot concentrate for long during lessons; even the sound of a classmate coughing or whispering is enough to distract him, especially in dull classes where his attention drops rapidly.   Didi is also an impulsive child. There was an incident when a classmate sitting next to him accidentally kicked him, and he immediately retaliated with his fists. He often speaks without thinking, which frequently embarrasses those around him. Over time, not only do many teachers dislike him, but his classmates also find him very annoying. As a result, during recess, Didi often finds himself alone. Each day he comes home and complains to his mother about how unhappy he is because no one wants to play with him, and each time she hears this, her heart aches. She patiently talks to Didi, hoping he will realize his mistakes and change, but the calls from

Written by: YEUNG Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioner As we move into early autumn, in addition to starting to feel the cool breezes, we also notice that many of our friends around us have started to “itch”, and skin problems have come knocking on the door again! Many people have rushed to seek medical attention, constantly inquiring whether they have already contracted incurable eczema. Although eczema itself has different categories, in terms of the pathogenesis, there are many similarities with skin sensitivity. How exactly should we distinguish between skin sensitivity and eczema? Is eczema really as terrible as it seems? Eczema is a common type of allergic dermatitis that is not contagious. In traditional Chinese medicine, it is referred to as “damp sores”, and it is a very common skin condition. The internal factors of eczema include constitution, emotions, and organ dysfunction, while the external factors include wind, dampness, and heat obstructing the skin. “Where evil congregates, the vital energy must be deficient.” When the body’s righteous qi is weakened, and the immune system function is reduced, wind, dampness, and heat evils permeate the skin, leading to the development or worsening of eczema. Skin sensitivity, also known as urticaria, is closely related to certain food sensitivities or contact with substances. There are two common types of skin sensitivity. The first is an allergic reaction triggered by exposure to external irritants such as metals, dust mites, and chemicals. The second is caused by food sensitivity, which can lead to varying

Written by：Yiu Yee Chiu, Chinese Doctor Every parent hopes that their child will develop well and quickly, even if they may not surpass others. In medicine, there is a condition that falls between “disease” and “physiology” that greatly troubles both parents and children. This is “pediatric nocturnal enuresis.” Pediatric nocturnal enuresis is a stage in physiological development, but if a child is still unable to control their urination and wets the bed after the age of 5, it becomes a problem. Pediatric nocturnal enuresis can be divided into two types: primary and secondary. The former is due to pathological reasons, such as spina bifida or developmental delays. The latter refers to when a child has previously gained control but then loses it for some reason. The most common cause is an unexplained developmental delay. Medication, Physical Therapy, and Lifestyle: A Tripartite Cooperation From a Chinese medicine perspective, the generation of urine is related to multiple organs. The main causes are kidney qi deficiency, spleen and lung qi deficiency, and liver channel stagnation and heat. Clinically, kidney qi deficiency is the primary factor. Unlike adult enuresis or secondary enuresis in children, the condition generally improves after a few months of treatment. However, the treatment must involve a combination of medication, physical therapy, and lifestyle adjustments. Chinese Herbal Treatment: The main herbs are Mulberry Twig, Medicated Leech, Rougan, Schisandra, Yam, and Mulberry Parasitic Plant. Physical Therapy: Acupuncture and massage, focusing on the bladder and kidney channels on the back. Strict Diet: Avoid

  Article by Mr. Cheng Wai-keung, Psychological Counselor at the Infant and Toddler Psychological Development Association.   During the writing training session, Mr. Cheng Wai-keung, a psychological counselor from the Infant and Toddler Psychological Development Association, mentioned the common struggles children face when learning to write in K2.   “He can never write within the lines, everything ends up ‘flying’!” “His letters always go beyond the boxes; usually, one letter ‘bullies’ two boxes!” “He often skips lines or boxes while writing.” “It seems like he lacks strength when writing, the writing is so light that it’s almost invisible!”   These are typical scenarios many children encounter when learning to write in K2. Writing requires a combination of various skills, with the most basic being the strength and flexibility of the small finger muscles (fine motor skills). Insufficient training in fine motor skills can lead to issues like weak or shaky handwriting. So, how can parents handle and train their children in this aspect? It’s simple—start by letting them play with clay, playdough, flour, and other similar materials from a young age. Furthermore, visual spatial awareness and eye control are also crucial for handwriting. Engaging in general ball activities is excellent for training these skills. Tracking the ball visually and making contact (or kicking) the ball is a natural and fun way to practice. Additionally, activities like spot the difference games (finding variances in two pictures) and maze games (first visually finding the way out, then connecting the lines with a

Written by: Principal Cheung Jok Fong, Education expert Have you ever heard the theme song “Embrace Love” from a certain TV series? I really like some of the lyrics, which simply yet powerfully convey the essence of “home”: home is a place that “shelters from wind and rain”, your “shield” that will always “open its door” when you are “weary”. The “love” mentioned refers to the familial love that is destined from the moment you were born – a bond thicker than water. Indeed, what could be more important than family love? When you are down on your luck, your family will share your worries, listen to your woes, and accompany you through the difficult times; when you are ill, your family will care for you unconditionally; when you succeed in your studies or career, they will rejoice wholeheartedly and feel proud of your accomplishments. This kind of “love” is something that money cannot buy. This year, our school has chosen “family” as the main theme, hoping to help parents and students appreciate the preciousness of family love. Unfortunately, this love may be taken for granted, as we are born into it, and hence some people fail to cherish it. Sometimes, we see from the news that some youths would rather loiter on the streets than return home; some families are embroiled in constant bickering, turning home into a battleground; some people even resort to violence against their own family members over trivial matters, leading to bloodshed. These are just